Zweifel Secrets - Jamaica Hot Chips (Swiss)

While on location in Berlin, I happened to stumble upon these crisps from Swiss manufacturer Zweifel. Jamaica Hot Chips are from their Secrets range. They have made a decent crisp however, for the average punter, the name could potentially be quite misleading. As I have done in the passed, I will spare you the confusion by letting you know that these are not hot chips in the traditional sense. They are in fact crisps that are hot and spicy like a Jamaican stripper replacing the head gasket on her 58'Buick Special in the relentless Caribbean sun. Jamaica Hot Chips are a decently thick crinkle cut crisp, with a peculiar flavour which grows on you through out the packet, but never too overwhelming. The most important factor, unlike some previous brands attempts, Zweifel have actually created a spicy crisp deserving the label of 'Hot'. After inhaling a quick few mouthfuls I've received the warm chili buzz I enjoy so much. Not the crunchiest crisp I have ever tried but I would not hold this against them. Overall I believe Zweifel have done very well. If I hadn't just reviewed Real Handcooked Jalapeno I would say Jamaica Hot Chips are the best chili crisps I have tried in Europe! ⋆⋆⋆⋆

Real Handcooked - Jalapeno Pepper (UK)

While my good friend Jared, was still in London. I decided to take him out to Greenwich, to visit the Meantime Brewery Bar. If I were to become a Beer Connoisseur, Meantime Lagers and Ale's would come back with a 5 Star rating of their own. London's finest Brewery and Bar, itself is a fine spot to enjoy a cold pint in the sun. Standing at the bar I just happened to glance over and see, with all it's glory, my white whale, a selection of Real Handcooked crisps! To say I was excited was an understatement. The planets had aligned, I was drinking Meantime Pale Ale, eating Real Handcooked crisps. It was better than cocaine and sex! In saying this, I do have the option of Real Handcooked Sweet Chili in the vending machine at work, which are the best Sweet Chili crisps I had found. However, Jalapeno Pepper?! These are not easy to find! Real Handcooked make 'kettle' style crisps, think cut with a superb crunch! They leave the skin on the potatoes so it gives them a somewhat organic feel. The Jalapeno flavour is strong. Strong enough to test the chili novice yet gentle enough to avoid a burning ring hole the next day. I love a spicy crisp so thus far I have never really been satisfied but the warm burn in the back of the throat after a few quick handfuls was a welcome sensation. Reminded me of the old Chilli Kettle chips days, back in Australia. Made of natural flavour and spices Real has really thrown down the gauntlet to the other crisps manufacturers! A triumphant ⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆

Warburtons Baked Pitta Chips - Sea Salt & Black Pepper (UK)

Possibly the old bread firm's first foray in to the snack world, never the less I believe it has been a great success, and why wouldn't it be! Once you try the Pitta Chips I think you will agree. They look like a triangle of one side of a Pitta pocket, smooth on the outside, rough on the inside. The have a great biscuity crunch and don't seem overly oily. The Sea Salt & Black Pepper is not full on at all but one is also not disappointed with the lack of flavour. To be honest they are only a few shades over bland but I believe that's all they need to be. Which is why they are probably not the finest selection for a quick snack on the go. These chips would really come in to their own copulating a home made guacamole or lemony houmous. In other words, A fine vessel to get delicious dips into your mouth! ⋆⋆⋆½

Lorenz Naturals - mit Rosmarin (Germany)

On recent adventure across Europe ending in the UK, A dear friend of mine, Jared brought me some crisps he purchased in Berlin. Now I have come to know that, with the exception of Kikiriki Flips, crisps don't tend to change to much worldwide. I do tend to lean towards the 'Kettle' style crisps which sadly these are not. While the general structure of Lorenz Naturals is much like a Lay's 'Thin' crisp, yet the simple Rosemary flavour was quite appealing to me indeed. As you well know, I am not one to buy into these fancy new hybrid flavours! The flavour is intense but never over bearing. More like a friendly Grandma, rather than a self hating, narcissistic  Step-mother, intent on oppressing the people who love her, due to her own personal demons! In summary, the crunch is crisp but will never be that of a thicker cut crisp but Lorenz Naturals - mit Rosmarin bide well due to the refreshing rosemary flavour. Definitely worth a try. ⋆⋆⋆

Bobi - Flips Kikiriki (Croatia)

Kikiriki is Croatian for peanuts. A little bit of trivia for you there. So these crisps, which I purchased while in the fine country that is Croatia, are peanut flavour. Now, I know what your thinking, and the answer is no, these days, man-scaping is nothing to be ashamed of. Anyway, this isn't Dear Dairy, and I'm not a nerdy undergrad, posing as a real man, giving advice to overly self conscience men, worried about the marmot growing in their pants! They are puffed corn.... flips, made with real peanuts. 22% of the ingredients is actually peanuts, which I found particularly amazing. They may also contain traces of celery which I found equally amazing! So Flips Kikiriki are of similar texture to Wotzits or Twisties for those Australian followers. I was skeptical when a friend first offered me the pack of peanut flavoured crisps but to say I was pleasantly surprised would be an understatement. However, the crisps he offered me were not the brand Bobi and I feel Bobi's take of the peanut crisp is not quite as good as the other I tried. Not to say I don't like them. I am a big Peanut Butter fan and I feel you would need to be to like these crisps. Bobi's Flips Kikiriki lack a little bit of flavour but the idea in general is a winner and I would hope to see them on Tesco shelves soon!
Bobi - Flips Kikiriki ⋆⋆½
Peanut Crisps ⋆⋆⋆⋆

Tyrells - Sweet Chilli & Red Pepper (UK)

First of all I would like to say I'm excited to be reviewing one of the UK premier independent crisp manufacturers. Tyrells are well known for their honest crisps and mildly amusing take on the everything British eg. The Tyrells Alternative Five-A-Day (found on the back of the packet). So down to it, Tyrells Sweet Chilli & Red Pepper are a thick cut 'Kettle' Style crisp. They are oily!You can almost see the oil in them and in some cases I do believe an over oily crisp can compromise a sophisticated crunch. It almost gives off a stale crunch. The right oil to crisp ratio must be one of the more difficult goals, crisp manufacturers have to face. As far as flavour goes they got it spot on. Not particularly spicy but this is a flavour you could set your watch to! Very well done in that respect. All in all a good crisp. I will definitely give Tyrells another go and perhaps the stale crunch was not down to oil but just this particular packet. Perhaps another flavour for me next time but if your trying Tyrells for the first time, I highly recommend Sweet Chilli & Red Pepper. ⋆⋆⋆

Mackies of Scotland - Scotch Bonnet Chilli Pepper (UK)

My apologies the review have been few and far between of late but even the Crisp Connoisseur must admit that crisps are a sometimes food and this trim figure doesn't keep itself! With that said, when I purchased this pack I was particularly excited, for this crisp brand is from the motherland: Scotland. This crisp is a 'Kettle' style crisp with a decent crunch however, they remind me of a light, fat free crisp but much to my surprise they are not. Perhaps very slightly less fat than your typical crisp but not enough to warrant this lack of fullness and vigor! It's like a passing mention from the waiter at a Chinese restaurant, that they "no longer use MSG" and they still do! Not that we care anyway.  That may sound slightly hypocritical but if your going to do it, go all out! Once the feeling of deceit had worn off slightly, I turned my focus to the pack, which would have the prospective buyer lead to believe that these crisps are going to be 'Fiery Hot', but I assure you readers, this is not the case. Lacking flavour and...... vigor. ⋆⋆

Monster Munch - Pickled Onion (UK)

"Hmm", I murmured to myself inquisitively at the supermarket, "Oriental rice cracker mix or Monster munch... rice crackers... monster munch. The rice crackers are good but monster munch is fun, look how fun this packaging is. Settled! Monster munch." Now don't get me wrong, Monster Munch Pickled Onion have vinegary tang atop a savoury goodness which I quite enjoyed. However, I'd rather you keep that last statement to yourself. This crisp, this is not a serious crisp. It may have already become evident, but I am a man who enjoys a serious crisp. The type of crisps a bunch of men can nibble on, as they sip their ales in a darkened public house. I assure you readers, that these 'Monster Munch' are not them. They are a puffed potato similar to that of an onion ring or cheese ball, most likely higher in fat than the greasy floor of a Chinese take-away. But it's not even that, it's not even the taste... They just look ridiculous! And no one above the age of 13 should be legally allowed to eat them. If you put Monster Munch and some other crisps in a room full of people, I would not be surprised if the first the people to touch the Monster Munch were convicted sex offenders. If not convicted, I think the federal police should keep a very close eye on those individuals. You never knows who's out there! ★

Estrella - Varma Mackor - Limited Edition (Sweden)

On my recent trip to Sweden, I had some fantastic crisps but sadly for Estrella, one of the bigger crisp brands of Sweden, these were not top of the crop. Now, my Swedish is about as good as my molecular biology so I have no idea what Varma Mackor is but a friend was kind enough to explain that it's some kind of grilled cheese sandwich. After being told the flavour, the end result becomes evident but not even my finely tuned palate could have guessed this one. The crisps are a thin ridge cut of a medium thickness and I do enjoy a ridge cut crisp. However, the flavour is as cheesy as an American family portrait and loses it's charm quicker than a newly elected politician. This particular flavour is a Limited Edition and I think that is probably for the best. For a crisp manufacturer Estrella make a great beer! ⋆½

Popchips - Barbeque (UK)

Firstly, I would like to say I enjoy the fact that these are called 'Chips', I am getting a little tired of the word 'Crisps', there is just too many consonants! So I have tried a few of these Popchips now and I am impressed. Initially I was going to review the Salt & Pepper, which were good, but I decided on Barbeque, which is saying something because I normally wouldn't go for Barbeque. I often find the for mentioned flavour little sickening, however not on this occasion. Popchips are not fried or baked, they are Popped! Which makes there texture like some kind of prawn cracker/ rice cracker fusion. They are crispy and crunchy like a dried out chicken bone, yet light like the midsole of a Air Jordan 1. Don't be discouraged by the lightness, I know crisps are meant to be a sometimes food but light crisps never seem to cut the mustard, yet with the Popchip one doesn't notice. The Popchip can be enjoyed by all walks of life, Slim and obese people alike. The Barbeque flavour is not to strong but plenty salty, like the woolen brim of and old Fisherman's cap. The flavour mulls around the mouth a little a first then amorously sit on the back of the tongue. I look forward to the introduction of Salt & Vinegar to the Popchip range soon, even still they get a extra half star for the rest of their range which I'm sure will feature again soon. ⋆⋆⋆⋆ ½

Lay's Strong - Mocne Piri Piri (Poland)

To begin with, I am quite excited about reviewing my first pack of Lay's, the heavyweights of the crisp world! These particular Lay's are from Poland and like a solid headed Polish man, they are 'Strong'... according to the writing across the front of the packet for some reason that I don't understand. The Lay's Strong range include 'Ostre Chilli', 'Mocne Piri Piri' and 'Piekielne Wasabi' (which I would be very interested to try). With this packet, Lay's have gone for a Piri Piri flavour and as I always enjoy a spicy crisp, I was indeed looking forward to sampling them. The Piri Piri is there but not overwhelming which would be ideal for those of us that tend not to dabble in the fiery depth of Satan's spices but still purchased Gerri Halliwell's debut solo album. I'm a big fan of a crinkle cut crisp and Lay's have hit the nail on the head with this one, this crisp snaps on the tongue with the crunch of a falling Red Wood in a forest of fortune cookies. All in all a good honest crisp for any punter and certainly one which I would buy again. ⋆⋆⋆⋆

Taffel Broadway - Sourcream & Onion (Finland)

I am very excited about this latest review as it is my first (hopefully of many) from mainland Europe. This particular pack of crisps is from Finland and they have produced an excellent crisp. But should we think anything less from our forward thinking Scandinavian cousins. Teffal Broadway are a shallow crinkle, thick cut crisp, reminiscent of a old Australian favourite, Ruffles, for those of you playing at home. Like any good Sourcream & Chives there is a submissive tang upon first bite quickly soothed by the calm onset of sour cream, like a Labrador rolling over inviting a tummy scratch. For a country with the finest school system in the world it is no surprise they have their crisp manufacturing sorted . An exceptional take on an old favourite. A true Tour de force. ⋆⋆⋆

Walkers Mystery Flavour Variety (UK)

Being the Crisp Connoisseur I am constantly critiquing crisps but on this occasion I thought it was about time for the crisps to test me.  I decided to take up the challenge and make my guess at Walkers new Mystery variety. 

C. As Always Walkers have created a good crisp. A nice crunch and and in interesting flavour. In Mystery crisp C, I am detecting a hint of chicken and possibly sun-dried tomato. This sounds a like a very unlikely combo so I am just admitting defeat on this one and moving to the next pack.

B. Once again a good textured thin crisp. In this mystery bag I am sensing a initial smoothness followed by a light tang, much like finding a hidden Bob Marley track on the end of a K.D. Lang LP. The smoothness I believe would be down to a white cheese, topped with a delicate portion of roasted capsicum or pepper. My guess, Roasted pepper and Ricotta with a hint of Coriander and Lime.

A. Same textured crisp as the other two. Though this crisp is definitely the heavier, red meat type. A subtle kick, like that of a midget testing a fallen Bee's nest for inhabitants, could be down to an onion in the mix. Perhaps of the Spanish variety, but A full flavour like that of a marinated piece of animal carcase. My guess, Beef Shortribs in a Spicy Spanish Onion Braise.

All in all, credible crisps, but nothing outstanding. The positives in each case owe a lot to texture and crunch which walkers have down to a T. I give the Whole venture ⋆⋆⋆

Poco Loco - Sweet & Sour (UK)

I was as apprehensive as the next man when I noticed the Chinese-Mexican fusion on the rack at the 99p Store. Don't get me wrong, Sweet & Sour was a dark horse, but I've never been afraid of experimenting.  Now this is not a overly flavoursome crisp which is probably for the best when trying to achieve a sweet & sour corn chip. The flavour is light and comes with the slightest hint of lemon. An exceptional thickness with a superior crunch and a well rounded  vessel for hummus or a fresh tzatziki. Poco Loco are renowned  for creating some of the saltiest crisps on the market but on this occasion they've come out with a win. ⋆⋆⋆