McClure’s - Spicy Pickle & Garlic Dill Pickle (US)

I guess sometimes I think to myself, what direction I would like this blog to be travelling. What is this blog meant to be about? Up until this point and certainly from the blurb above, one could assume that my aim was about uncovering the best of the best in the crisp world. Facilitating in the selection process when my readers are presented with an insurmountable selection of crisps and snacks. This would explain all of the high scores because I want to save my loyal readers the heart ache of purchasing an inferior packet of crisps. And anyone, who has managed stay even remotely familiar with my writings, may be of the opinion that all I do is find the spiciest crisps, which is not true. Spicy crisps just happen to be delicious! As many of you know, I do like independent brands doing great things and I would hope that my readers feel the same way. I would hope that, like me, when my readers see an interesting, different, new flavour, they are so overcomes by curiosity and fascination that they simple must try the little known snack. I have decided that this is the direction I would like to send this blog. A guide to the lesser known snacks. Like Solange in a sea of Beyonce’s or The Faces in a sea of The Rolling Stones. The relatively unknown McClure’s are exactly that. I found them in a posh grocery store in Richmond and the flavours immediately jumped out at me; Spicy Pickle and Garlic Dill Pickle. So I grabbed both packets with the excitement of a school boy of the last day of term. When I got home I noticed both packets were nearing their used by date. Which I thought was funny because there were a lot of packets left. In any case, I took my interesting packets home and tonight I decided to open one. I opened the Spicy Pickle first, obviously, and I smelt the contents. The strong aroma of dill filled my nostrils, which I must say was slightly disconcerting. I reached in a plucked out the first crinkle cut crisp. I took a bit, and realised very quickly that this is no Walkers Pickled Onion. Quite the contrary. These crisps are the pits! They are no good at all. They are hardly spicy and the flavour is like the contents a baby’s overflowing diaper!  I then opened the Garlic Dill Pickle and these we’re only one notch up on the belt of an anorexic cheerleader. While my rising unhappiness for these crisps may never cease, I am glad I tried them, so that you don’t have to. ⋆

Twisties – Flaming Hot (Aus)

I tend not to dabble in the maze snack world, however, Twisties are a cheesy Aussie tradition. An institution of an Australian’s childhood. In this case I was unable to resist the Flaming Hot variation of the much-loved favourite. I am going to assume that everyone knows what Twisties are. If you don’t, in a roundabout way, I guess you might say they are like a disfigured cheese doodle that is all rough and lumpy and comes in all shapes and sizes because there is really no template for the Twistie and I would go as far as to say that no two Twisties are the same (Possible advertising campaign there) and I would also say they are crunchier than your average maze snack, almost like there is a hard crusty, crunchy shell with a lighter less densely packed interior. On the Flaming Hot packet there is a warning which reads “Caution: Extremely Hot”. I can confirm they do have a bit of spice which is quite enjoyable however I think the use of the word Extremely is a bit…. Well, extreme, to be quite honest. In any case, they have made an enjoyable crisp for the whole family. Not too spicy and a great variation on this stalwart of Australian crisps world. ⋆⋆⋆½

Darling Spuds – Fire Roasted Jalapeno Peppers (UK)

I recently experimented with make my own crisps. Despite several crisp disasters, I did manage to make some decent crisps. I found that I had to slice the potato thinner than a Scotsman’s upper lip, to achieve a satisfyingly crunchy crisp. After having made my own crisps, I must say, I am even further away from understanding how these brands can cut a reasonably thick crisp and yet, produce a super crunchy crisp. Darling Spuds are exceptional examples of this and they are also a smaller independent brand, which I am always a big fan of. Fire Roasted Jalapeno Peppers are a Cauldron cooked, skin and all crisp. They have an Unparalleled Crunch and an aromatic, smoky full flavour. I must say they are very oily. So, oily they glow gold oily goodness when put up to a light but I refuse to hold this against them because they are so delicious. They remind me a lot of Real Handcooked Jalapeño, which if you remember correctly, received a 5 star rating. Perhaps Real Handcooked did a slightly better job on the heat but Darling Spuds have still created a triumphant crisp. ⋆⋆⋆⋆½

Blair's Death Rain - Jolokia Pepper (US)

On a recent trip to central Sydney, I happened upon a convenient store in Haymarket which stocked the mother of all spicy crisps, Blair's Death Rain - Jolokia Pepper. You can imagine my excitement when I noticed the fiery beast in the humblest of convenient stores. I saved the packet until I returned home, in order to take in the full experience of possibly the hottest crisps on the market today. I ate the first few crisps slowly, focusing on the crisps itself and the flavour. While the crunch and overall structure of the Blair's Death Rain crisp is exceptional, I must say, there is little flavour in the Jolokai Pepper variety. I realise this sounds like the rhetoric of a chilli novice but, in this instance, I must concur with the popular phrase of ‘heat evaders’. If you remember well, this is the second packet of Blair’s Death Rain crisps I have reviewed. The first packet was the Habanero variety. The little sibling of the Jolokia flavour. I found Habanero to be spicy enough to make the eyes water but still maintain a very pleasant taste. The Jolokia flavour is not so. Jolokia is no mucking around, kick you in the balls, hot! This is the hottest crisp I have ever tried. Like the Habanero flavour, the store attendant that sold me Blair's Death Rain - Jolokia Pepper, warned me of the immense heat contained inside this packet. Never the less, after the first few testers, I decided to challenge myself and I smashed the entire packet in about 5 minutes. As I devoured the contents of the packet, my lips began to sting, my throat began to burn and by the end of the packet, my tongue felt like the searing sand of a thousand deserts! I had a sweat on and my eyes were watering. I was gargling water and the burn still lingered for about 15 minutes after. While the flavour is not great, that is not the point. These crisps are meant to be hot and hot they are! I enjoyed the challenge but Blair's Death Rain - Jolokia Pepper would not be my first choice on every occasion. ⋆⋆⋆⋆

Kettle Chunky – Mediterranean Herbs & Spices (Aus)

As some of you are aware, I am back in Australia. While I was away, a friend of mine sent me a picture of some new crisps that came out in Australia which were a thicker cut to the usual cauldron cooked crisp. Obviously I was very excited about this and booked a flight home at once. I had a stopover in Thailand on the way but couldn’t enjoy it, as I was unable to focus my attention away from my pending purchase. Once back in Australia I did as all good returning Australians do. I bought a Chocolate milk. How I had missed that smooth chocolaty texture. The next trip was with my mother, to the supermarket, from which the highly anticipated purchase was made. Casually tossing the packet in to the shopping trolley, my mother spotted the selection I had made. She looked at me with a concerned glare. I asked my mother what was the trouble and she replied “don’t get those ones, Matt, they will break your teeth”. As I was fully aware that these crisps were thicker than the average crisp, I replied rather nonchalantly “I think I will be ok”. However, the warnings did not stop. My mother went on to explain that upon these very crisps, she chipped her tooth and when my young nephew attempted to bite through the extra chunky crisp, he required a filling. Heroically and undeterred by all the warnings, I continued on my quest to review the thickest cut crisp on the market. Tentatively, I bit down on the first crisp. Let me tell you readers, these crisps are crunchy, probably the crunchiest this connoisseur has ever come across. They are also very crispy, which I imagine would be the difficulty in creating a thicker than average crisp. The Mediterranean Herbs & Spices flavour is lightly sweet and slightly peppery with hints of oregano and rosemary. The flavour is good but not mind blowing. Despite the cautions from concerned loved ones I thought the chunky crisps were a success. There was a lot of bubble crisps and folded crisps in this packet, which makes for an exciting time! ⋆⋆⋆⋆

Lay's Thai Chili Paste (Thailand)

You may have already heard the rumours that the crisp connoisseur is heading back to Australia. I imagine those of you in Australia will be overc
ome with excitement. While all of my loyal fans in the UK will be inconsolable. Both of these reactions are understandable but neither parties should get too comfortable, as I am like a rabbit and the world is my warren. You never know where I am going to pop up. No, no… I am like a Mosquito. It’s 3am in the morning and you’re standing on your bed, you think you have me beat, you think that I am gone. You turn the light off and return to your slumber, and when you are just about to nod off, I come humming past your ear, sending you in to a rage of arms and legs. Alas, I digress. On to the reason you have clicked on to my blog. On my way home, I have stopped in via Thailand and there is an overabundance of new, weird and not so wonderful crisp flavours. I have tried a couple and quite frankly, I think we, in the UK and Australia, are doing just fine. After a few samples, I decided to go with Lay's Thai Chili Paste for my review. As we know Lay’s are a thin cut crisps and Lay's Thai Chili Paste are no exception to the crisps giants Traditional texture, thickness and crunch. I didn’t actually know what I was buying when I bought them. All I knew was that it involved chilli, garlic and onion. Upon first bite, one is hammered with garlic like Michael Clarke, hammering Graeme Swann through the covers of four. Once you half way through the packet you begin to realise that no one just eats chilli paste like they would a natural yogurt. Chilli Paste is an ingredient in a much more complex meal. Chili paste is strong, too strong. It's a concentrate like a squash or opium. For this reason, I can’t say I have been moved by Thailand’s diverse flavours. I think I am happy to stick with my Salt & Vinegars and Jalapeño Peppers. ⋆⋆

Terra - Zesty Tomato Exotic Vegetable Chips (USA)

There are a few brands out there these days that are doing the vegetable crisp option and I have been wanting to review a packet for some time. However, most of them are simply not good. In particular the Beetroot crisps, which are, for lack of a better expression, shit. Terra Zesty Tomato, on the other hand, are the bee's knees! One of the most superior crunch crisps you will ever have the pleasure of biting down on. Even better than biting down on your bottom lip in the throws of sexual ecstasy! The zesty tomato flavour is just the perfect amount to allow the flavour of each veggie to have it’s own individuality but also adds a subtle tapestry to create an overall  flavour sensation. Each different root vegetable tastes slightly different. In each packet you will find taro, ruby sweet potato, parsnip and some things that I don’t think anyone knows what they are. The only thing we know is that they are delicious and like with all vegetable crisps, it actually feels like your eating something healthy even though your not! Amazing! And if you're not convinced by my review, check out this knob head http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xmNBt-KvQE ⋆⋆⋆⋆½