Lay's Thai Chili Paste (Thailand)

You may have already heard the rumours that the crisp connoisseur is heading back to Australia. I imagine those of you in Australia will be overc
ome with excitement. While all of my loyal fans in the UK will be inconsolable. Both of these reactions are understandable but neither parties should get too comfortable, as I am like a rabbit and the world is my warren. You never know where I am going to pop up. No, no… I am like a Mosquito. It’s 3am in the morning and you’re standing on your bed, you think you have me beat, you think that I am gone. You turn the light off and return to your slumber, and when you are just about to nod off, I come humming past your ear, sending you in to a rage of arms and legs. Alas, I digress. On to the reason you have clicked on to my blog. On my way home, I have stopped in via Thailand and there is an overabundance of new, weird and not so wonderful crisp flavours. I have tried a couple and quite frankly, I think we, in the UK and Australia, are doing just fine. After a few samples, I decided to go with Lay's Thai Chili Paste for my review. As we know Lay’s are a thin cut crisps and Lay's Thai Chili Paste are no exception to the crisps giants Traditional texture, thickness and crunch. I didn’t actually know what I was buying when I bought them. All I knew was that it involved chilli, garlic and onion. Upon first bite, one is hammered with garlic like Michael Clarke, hammering Graeme Swann through the covers of four. Once you half way through the packet you begin to realise that no one just eats chilli paste like they would a natural yogurt. Chilli Paste is an ingredient in a much more complex meal. Chili paste is strong, too strong. It's a concentrate like a squash or opium. For this reason, I can’t say I have been moved by Thailand’s diverse flavours. I think I am happy to stick with my Salt & Vinegars and Jalapeño Peppers. ⋆⋆

Terra - Zesty Tomato Exotic Vegetable Chips (USA)

There are a few brands out there these days that are doing the vegetable crisp option and I have been wanting to review a packet for some time. However, most of them are simply not good. In particular the Beetroot crisps, which are, for lack of a better expression, shit. Terra Zesty Tomato, on the other hand, are the bee's knees! One of the most superior crunch crisps you will ever have the pleasure of biting down on. Even better than biting down on your bottom lip in the throws of sexual ecstasy! The zesty tomato flavour is just the perfect amount to allow the flavour of each veggie to have it’s own individuality but also adds a subtle tapestry to create an overall  flavour sensation. Each different root vegetable tastes slightly different. In each packet you will find taro, ruby sweet potato, parsnip and some things that I don’t think anyone knows what they are. The only thing we know is that they are delicious and like with all vegetable crisps, it actually feels like your eating something healthy even though your not! Amazing! And if you're not convinced by my review, check out this knob head http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xmNBt-KvQE ⋆⋆⋆⋆½

Walkers - Pickled Onion (UK)

Ever since my review of Monster Munch - Pickled onion, I have had a backlash from the Monster Munch aficionados. Don't expect me to just roll over and admit that I was wrong to discredit the family favourite. I stand by my comments and maintain the view that the flavour is great but the crisps themselves are a joke... there, I said it! I guess I have never been a fan of a maize snack, particularly when there is a serious potato or corn option available. It is for this reason, when I spotted Walkers - Pickled Onion at a Finsbury Park off-licence, I knew I had to review them to further demonstrate my point. I must say, I do prefer the thicker cut cauldron cooked variety of potato crisps and this packet is just your regular thin cut crisp. In saying that, there are a lot of thinly cut crisp manufacturers around but I believe Walkers do it best. They have managed to create a finely cut crisp that does not compromise on crunch. Like a teenage gymnast turned high school PE teacher, Walkers Pickled Onion are sour with a vinegary tang and they don’t spare on the salt. Yet they are light and one could eat them until your mouth is full of ulcers, your teeth fall out and your heartburn becomes and all out heart attack! A quality crisp and I would like to see them a lot more regularly. ⋆⋆⋆⋆

Salty Dog - Jalapeño & Coriander (UK)

Now, I know you're thinking, "This guy is always doing jalapeño/chilli crisps" and you would be right. Trouble is, I can't help it. When the options are laid out on the table, I will go for the hot crisps almost every time. This is different; this flavour is Jalapeño & Coriander. Now, again, I know what you thinking, “I don’t like coriander” and believe me, you’re in good company. I mean, I don’t, hate coriander. It’s ok, but it’s no basil. However, in this packet, with the slightest hint of black pepper, the coriander is subtle. As if to say “be gentle.... it’s my first time”. The jalapeño flavour is poignant but without testing your scoville scale. Salty Dog bring a satisfyingly crunchy crisps to the table and live up to their name, creating a saltier than your average crisp. The thing that I love about them the most is that they are an independent brand doing some great things and this dog could definitely hold it'

s own against the crisps world heavyweights! ⋆⋆⋆⋆

Kettle Chips Wave Cut - Salt & Vinegar (UK)

Now, whether you're in the UK or Australia, I believe we are all aware of what Kettle chips are. Kettle are the 'Don's' of the cauldron cooked crisp. All of these other brands doing the cauldron cooked crisp; Walkers Sensations, Tyrrells, are really only aiming for the bench mark left by these heavyweights of the crisp world. As usual, I am excited about these crisps. I am excited for two reasons;
1) Even on the packet, it's says chips. Not crisps. Since moving to the UK, I have been practically band from the use of the word chips in reference to potato crisps. It appears to be a topic that the British feel very strongly about and I can assure you, they are very quick to correct anyone caught misusing their mother tongue.
2) These chips are Salt & Vinegar! Not Sea Salt & Balsamic Vinegar. Not Cider Vinegar & Rock Salt. Not Rice Wine Vinegar & Pink Himalayan Crystal Salt! As I have stated in the past, original is always the best. These chips are also 'Wave Cut', which we can safely assume is another name for crinkle cut chips and I am more than impressed with Kettle's foray into the crinkle cut variety. I believe the crinkle adds to the crunch, of which Kettle may be the finest exemplars.The flavour is spot on. Salty but not too salty. Vinegary but not too vinegary. In summary; A real Triumph. ⋆⋆⋆⋆½

San Carlo - Piú gusto, Lime e pepe rosa (Italy)

On a recent trip around the Mediterranean, I wrote this blog entry while in Naples. Along my journey, I tried quite a few different types of crisps but none had really deserved a review. I only felt compelled to voice my opinion and overall disappointment. And this pack is no different. Rather, more an example of all of the thinly sliced, inferior crunch, tasteless crisps that this weary traveler has been forced to grow accustom too. Perhaps I've been spoiled by the delicious, thick cut, crunchy crisps of the UK for too long now and perhaps said delicious crisps of the UK are the reason for the growing rate of childhood obesity. Although Naples does seem to have it's fair share of heavy set street urchins. One young lady that caught my gaze at a Sorrento beach seemed to have no trouble getting about with no bikini top on regardless of her tiny breasts and protruding gut. There is no more proud people of their own spare tyres than the Neapolitans. Of course the apparent obesity epidemic currently sweeping Naples may actually be down to the delicious pizza, which disproves the theory that one can never have to much of a good thing. Fortunately for the Italians, their pizza is a more than suitable substitute for their unsatisfying crisps. ⋆

Blair's Death Rrain - Habanero Pepper (US)

I am particularly excited about these crisps. This is an independent brand that mainly produces hot sauces but has recently plied their hand in the crisp world. Over the course of my tenure as a crisp critic/blogger, It's become a side project of mine to find the spiciest crisps on the market. On a recent trip with my good mother, up to Scotland, we stopped in at York (Lovely Town. If you have not been, I highly recommend). During our pit stop in York, I happened upon some crisps by the name of Blair's Death Rain; Habanero Pepper. The man that sold them to me actually warned me about the heat of these crisps, suggesting I may not be able to finish the entire bag. To which my proud mother replied "Oh, he will!". Blair's Death Rain; Habanero Pepper are cauldron cooked similar to that of a kettle crisp. Now I am not hear piss in your pocket. These crisps are HOT! Even smelling inside the bag could burn the hair in your nostrils! Like your Uncle at a wedding, mistaking the Wasabi for Guacamole, I was in a spot of bother. The 43g pack did not last long but the end result was watering eyes, running nose and intense lingering spice on the tongue and lips. I sometimes find myself licking the flavour of some other, lesser chilli crisps. With Blair's Death Rain; Habanero, that would be like walking over hot coals with your face. Not only were they the hottest crisp I have ever eaten, they were also the crunchiest. Aside from the heat they also have a lovely smokey flavour. A fine all effort from Death Rain and I hear they have an even Hotter flavour named "Jolokia Pepper". Intriguing! ⋆⋆⋆⋆½

Cofresh - Chilli Cassava Chips (UK)

Now I'm not even sure what a Cassava is but I am assuming it is in the root vegetable group with potatos and carrots. I'm also not too sure about the type of crisp a cassava can produce however I would say these particular crisps dont quite have the crunch and crumble of a potato chip. Perhaps the cassava is a denser brother of the more popular potato. In saying that, of all the cassava chips I have come across, none of them are in foil packaging. And we all know foil packaging unequivically locks in the freshness. So it could be that from factory to shelf the freshness is comprimised in the plastic packaging, leaving us with a slightly stale crisp. Of course of this is mere theory and I may be completely wrong. In any event, I do quite enjoy this fried root vegetable cousin. The pack in the this review is Cofresh Chilli Cassava Chips and let me tell you, they pack a punch. One of the hottest crisps I have tried. Only a few crisps in and there is a gentle burn on the tongue. Some sloppy handling and you could have flaming lips! Not for the faint of heart or the chilli novice. Being an avid spicy crisp eater myself, I enjoy this heat. A few hand fulls and you have a properly burning mouth, saliva glands going like dogs to freshly marked power pole!  Cofresh definitely have their neich in the crisp world and I urge and CHALLENGE you to try them. They do also have a milder chilli lemon flavour but dont wimp out! ⋆⋆⋆⋆