Smith’s Limited Edition Pizza (Aus)

I have been angry with pizza recently. Last night I was perusing the frozen goods section in the freezer isle of my local Coles, attempting to scratch up a meal for the night. I managed to settle on the idea of pizza for the night and I immediately began scanning for the cheapest option available. To my disbelief, the cheapest ‘large’ pizza I could find was $7.00! My mind began ticking over with the equations that put effort, quality, taste and price in a heated altercation. To put things in to perspective for those you unaware, you can buy a large pizza at Domino’s for $5.50. It may not be a gourmet wood fire pizza with buffalo mozzarella but at $5.50, what we’re you expecting! Then I decided, just for a laugh, to check out what a plain pizza base might set me back. $4! By the time I top it with bocconcini, tomato paste, maybe some Kalamata olives and halved artichoke hearts, I may as well have booked a ticket to Napoli! With that said, a bag of Smith’s Limited Edition Pizza come in at a fraction of the price. Brought out just in time for the footy finals, I thought I better get a review in, just in case any of you punters were thinking about the same purchase for any finals parties this weekend. As usual, Smiths produce big, crunchy, quality, crinkle cut crisps. I suppose the emphasis is on the flavour in this case. Upon first bite I get a flavour similar to that of a Pizza Shape! Which I think is a good flavour to aim for, given the success of the Pizza Shape over the years. Pizza must be a difficult taste to recreate given that the flavour of a pizza can vary so much. The major folly of any crisp brand attempting the pizza flavour is over seasoning, creating an almost sickening packet of crisps. In this case I think Smiths have been careful not to over do it. I guess the best thing you can say about Smith’s Limited Edition Pizza is they weren’t not disappointing. Not nearly as disappointing as the price of pizzas you have to make yourself these days. As for their potential to improve your footy skills, despite claiming to the official chip of the AFL, I didn’t notice any increased willingness to assault anyone in a nightclub or proposition my team mates wife. ⋆⋆½

Thomas Chipman - Parsnip Chips (Aus)

You may already be aware that I enjoy crisps. Perhaps you could say that I enjoy crisps too much. I have been known to devour entire 250gm packets of crisps without lifting so much as an eye lid. When I purchased Thomas Chipman’s take on the humble Parsnip crisp, I was filled with anticipation because my last brush with Parsnip crisps remains so vivid in my memory. If you have already read my post on Terra - Zesty Tomato Exotic Vegetable Chips you would know how thrilled I was with their crispy root vegetable combination and I can assure you that Terra’s parsnip crisps were the stand out performer! Unfortunately, for old mate Chipman this is not the case. Upon first glance into the open packet, one could easily be convinced that Thomas Chipman had gathered up some dry, old leaves from the garden and packaged them up. Upon first bite the disappointment overwhelming! They are about as crunchy as the disregarded last end slice of bread in a poorly sealed bag. They look and taste like they have been over-cooked or even burnt! Scorched like the simoom of the Sahara desert. Of course, flavour can always be redeemed with ample application of seasoning but, it is with much sorrow that I have to say that once again, this is not the case. In fact, the salt is so scarcely sprinkled on the parsnip crisps that I can only assume that Thomas Chipman does not have any direct access to a reasonable supply of salt and he is forced to fill his pockets with those tiny sachets of salt every time he visits McDonalds. I would love to finish this review with some kind of redeeming factor for Thomas Chipman Parsnip chips, but any positive remark I could make would be pure lies. Even I could not bring myself to bottom of this packet. ⋆

Red Rock Deli - Roast Chicken Lemon & Thyme (Aus)

This particular packet was purchased by a friend, specifically for this review, which is always a little bit exciting as the review becomes more of a challenge and I have been mulling this one over the last week or two. So let’s get in to it. This is my first review of Red Rock Deli crisps, which is surprising, as Red Rock Deli have really cemented themselves a place in the elite crisp bands in Australia. I even remember when Red Rock Deli first introduced themselves on to the market. At that time, the only brand I can remember making cauldron cooked crisps was Kettle and I don’t think I would have been the only person who thought Kettle were the best crisps on the Australian market. I even named this entire blog after my favourite Kettle flavour! So I believe it was a bold move for Red Rock to go head-to-head with Kettle in the cauldron cooked race. Over this time, one distinct difference between the two cauldron crisp heavyweights has become apparent and it is all in the flavouring. Since my childhood, to my aberration, Kettle have sparingly seasoned their crisps. Each crisps with less flavour than the last. I remember a time when a packet of Chilli Kettle chips could reduce me to a crying, sniffling mess. These days, after the economisation of brand, Chilli Kettle could barely trouble me to deep, cooling, wide mouthed breath. Red Rock Deli, on the other hand, has obviously made a point to create a crisp on the extreme opposite and Roast Chicken Lemon & Thyme are no exception. The flavour is overwhelming and unrelenting. The Lemon is full, the Thyme is lost and the chicken is controlling, like a Mexican wrestler on a Meer cat. With that said, there were a lot of bubble crisps in this packet which is always joyous. As I reluctantly devoured the contents of this packet, I found myself in a delicate predicament. Do I give a good review in exchange for the sentiment of free crisps??? or do continue with my profound, non-partisan, honest reporting? As you have probably already gathered, I feel it to be my duty to do the right thing by my readers and offer my sincere, conscientious opinion. Perhaps the trick with Red Rock Deli is not to eat the whole packet, but this is the conditioning I have prescribed to myself. This packet wasn't great but it was still not a complete waste of thyme. ⋆⋆½

John & John – Sea Salt & Black Pepper (UK)

Ever since my first Sea salt & Black pepper crisps experience, I have been quite partial to the lesser known and lesser exposed flavour. Luckily for me, on my housemate’s recent trip to Van Diemen's Land, he was kind enough to purchased me a packet of John & John – Sea salt & Black pepper. As I stated in my previous blog post, it is just this kind of independent crisp manufacturers that I am focusing on, so you can imagine my excitement when he handed me this elegant packet. Not to mention that John & John like to make cauldron cooked, skin on crisps – my favourite. Each crisp seems to be of different thickness which further enhances the ‘handmade’ feel. The packet is also full of folded crisps with more folds than an origami convention. And we all know folded crisps are the most satisfying to bite down on. John & John have also been careful not to make the crisps too peppery, which would be an easy trap to fall into. However, peppery enough to know it’s there; just like Demi Moore knew Patrick Swayze was there while she turned that alarmingly phallic clay pot. I don’t know who John or John is, or how they got so wise but they know how to make a good crisp. ⋆⋆⋆⋆

McClure’s - Spicy Pickle & Garlic Dill Pickle (US)

I guess sometimes I think to myself, what direction I would like this blog to be travelling. What is this blog meant to be about? Up until this point and certainly from the blurb above, one could assume that my aim was about uncovering the best of the best in the crisp world. Facilitating in the selection process when my readers are presented with an insurmountable selection of crisps and snacks. This would explain all of the high scores because I want to save my loyal readers the heart ache of purchasing an inferior packet of crisps. And anyone, who has managed stay even remotely familiar with my writings, may be of the opinion that all I do is find the spiciest crisps, which is not true. Spicy crisps just happen to be delicious! As many of you know, I do like independent brands doing great things and I would hope that my readers feel the same way. I would hope that, like me, when my readers see an interesting, different, new flavour, they are so overcomes by curiosity and fascination that they simple must try the little known snack. I have decided that this is the direction I would like to send this blog. A guide to the lesser known snacks. Like Solange in a sea of Beyonce’s or The Faces in a sea of The Rolling Stones. The relatively unknown McClure’s are exactly that. I found them in a posh grocery store in Richmond and the flavours immediately jumped out at me; Spicy Pickle and Garlic Dill Pickle. So I grabbed both packets with the excitement of a school boy of the last day of term. When I got home I noticed both packets were nearing their used by date. Which I thought was funny because there were a lot of packets left. In any case, I took my interesting packets home and tonight I decided to open one. I opened the Spicy Pickle first, obviously, and I smelt the contents. The strong aroma of dill filled my nostrils, which I must say was slightly disconcerting. I reached in a plucked out the first crinkle cut crisp. I took a bit, and realised very quickly that this is no Walkers Pickled Onion. Quite the contrary. These crisps are the pits! They are no good at all. They are hardly spicy and the flavour is like the contents a baby’s overflowing diaper!  I then opened the Garlic Dill Pickle and these we’re only one notch up on the belt of an anorexic cheerleader. While my rising unhappiness for these crisps may never cease, I am glad I tried them, so that you don’t have to. ⋆

Twisties – Flaming Hot (Aus)

I tend not to dabble in the maze snack world, however, Twisties are a cheesy Aussie tradition. An institution of an Australian’s childhood. In this case I was unable to resist the Flaming Hot variation of the much-loved favourite. I am going to assume that everyone knows what Twisties are. If you don’t, in a roundabout way, I guess you might say they are like a disfigured cheese doodle that is all rough and lumpy and comes in all shapes and sizes because there is really no template for the Twistie and I would go as far as to say that no two Twisties are the same (Possible advertising campaign there) and I would also say they are crunchier than your average maze snack, almost like there is a hard crusty, crunchy shell with a lighter less densely packed interior. On the Flaming Hot packet there is a warning which reads “Caution: Extremely Hot”. I can confirm they do have a bit of spice which is quite enjoyable however I think the use of the word Extremely is a bit…. Well, extreme, to be quite honest. In any case, they have made an enjoyable crisp for the whole family. Not too spicy and a great variation on this stalwart of Australian crisps world. ⋆⋆⋆½