Kettle Sriracha (USA)

It's a fusion of unquestionable magnitude. Everyone's favourite chilli sauce combined with the Don's of the cauldron cooked crisp world. Needless to say I was super excited to spot these in the supermarket.

Once I had calmed myself down with a cold Milo, over the fact the bag was only 1/3 full, I was ready to begin examining this exciting new variety. Unfortunately, comparatively to the Australian Kettle chips, Kettle Sriracha are kind of small but they still have an exceptional crunch and the packet contained lots of folded crisps, which is important. They have that Sriracha sweetness, like someone else's mildly racist and homophobic, but still endearing, grandma. Importantly, they're not too spicy - they're a spicy crisp for the everyman. They were about as difficult to finish as they were to buy. ⋆⋆⋆⋆

Yupi Rizadas Mayonesa (Columbia)

Mayonnaise crisps... What are you thinking? Maybe you are thinking 'these two things do not belong in the same packet'. Or, maybe you are thinking 'sounds reasonable, after all I squeeze mayonnaise on hot chips'. Or maybe you are thinking 'this is a fucking outrage and I refuse to accept that these crisps exist'. Or, maybe you're mind has wandered completely and you're now thinking about cat’s balls and how we never really see them anymore and you'd forgotten they even exist. Whatever you're thinking about or whatever uneducated misconceptions you may have about Mayonnaise crisps, forget it!

These crisps are delicious. Yupi have a created a crisp with fantastic crunch. They're greasy but you'd still invite them over to meet your mother. A small ridge crinkle cut crisp - think Ruffles. The UK and Australia need to sharpen up their act because mayonnaise crisps are the way forward! ⋆⋆⋆⋆½

Sabritas Gourmet - Corte Grueso - Chile Pasilla al Vino Tinto (Mex)

Prior to visiting Argentina, the bulk of the wine I had ever consumed was contained by a bag or box. I regularly enjoyed some of Australia's finest cask wine and only ever of the white variety. However, my recent trip through Argentina and Chile opened my eyes to the wonders of Chilean Red Wine. Never in my life have I ever had a 'go to' type of wine. All of that has changed and Cabernet Sauvignon is now a friend, like an old geography teacher or former mentor.

When I stumbled upon this pack of crisps in a Mexican supermarket, I thought this would be only fitting, given my newfound adoration for inedible pressed grapes. So I decided to fire up the old beast again - The Crisp Connoisseur.

Sabritas have made a very strange flavoured crisp, likened more to a wine of pure witchcraft/wet gravel Red bordeaux than a fruity cab sav. The bag itself reads 'Corte Mas Grueso' which means thicker cut. Somewhere between a thin cut crisp and cauldron cooked. The flavour is interesting and like nothing I have ever tried before. You would probably find an accurate description of this flavour somewhere between 'Dehydrated Argentinian Steak smoothie' and 'Chipotle Wine'. I did not find myself compelled to finish of the packet which does not bode well for the risky variety. However, the rat that ransacked my bag in the night appears to have enjoyed them.

I've got the tshirt, I can tell the story so I won't be buying these again. ⋆